What Kind of Relationship Do You Want?
When we are young, we fantasize about the kind of relationship we would love in order to be to happy. Which one of these below do you want?
– The fairy tale type.
A glamorous and brave knight comes to rescue you – if you are are a girl – and showers you with a lot of love – roses, expensive gives, a lot of sweet words and unbridled romance! How wonderful!
Unfortunately, this is often only restricted to Fairy tales…But if you are one of the very lucky ones, perhaps, this could happen for you.
– The hopeful type.
You meet a partner who meets all your physical needs – beautiful or handsome, incredibly kind and generous, very considerate, and never offering an unkind word. Someone who is faithful to you and never does anything to hurt your feelings or make you feel insecure.
And certainly, someone who is never violent!
Again, this is possible, but very rare in this day and age.
– The practical type.
You hope to meet a partner who understands you well and is communicative, so you can both understand each others’ needs. You are willing to “give and take” and willing to be patient. You do not expect your partner to be perfect, because you know very well, that you, yourself are not perfect. You are realistic and practical. You respect your partner and his/her views and strive to create a happy atmosphere in your home. You expect your partner to be the same.
This is, perhaps the best type of relationship to have, so you can both meet each other’s needs as shown in the image below.
Successful Couples Are Willing To Give and Take.
People who are successful in their relationships are willing to “give and take”.
So, how do you give?
You give by being patient and tolerant. You are willing to listen to your partners’ needs and you will do your best, within your means, to meet those needs. And these needs are the basic needs talked about so famously by Maslow, in his hierarchy of needs.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.
Does your relationship meet your Basic Needs as shown below and also your partner’s basic needs?
According to Maslow, we all need to meet most, if not all of the basic needs in the pyramid below, in order to be happy and feel fulfilled in our lives:
Basic needs – Physical Needs, Security Needs, Social Needs, Ego, and Self-Actualization.
Our basic needs are often more easily met than our other needs – like that of Ego or
Self-Esteem, as well as our Self-Actualization needs.
How to Be Happy In Your Relationship.
To be happy in your relationship, you and your partner must endeavour to meet or at least help your partner to meet all the needs that will lead him/her to become self-actualized.
It is not always easy to achieve. You will need to be willing to give it a go and be willing to be patient and kind. Most of all, you must open yourself up to learning new relationship skills, like better communication styles, how to quell your own anger, how to appreciate your partner, how to avoid being selfish, and so on and so forth.
Life Coaching Offer.
If you are struggling to create happiness in your relationship, you can chat to me and we can hold life coaching sessions to examine the situation and come up with possible solutions. Your First session is free of charge. Check it out here: https://www.drgracenanderson.com.